By Larry Stanford firstname.lastname@example.org
February 7, 2014
I first heard about it Tuesday afternoon from a friend who works at a Griffin newspaper. She sent me a message on Facebook stating that she always knew I had a ‘dark side.’ She also sent the link to a story she wrote that explained her comment.
Wednesday morning at the Chamber’s Sun’s Up breakfast at URMC, Kyle Fletcher and Dan Kilgore both mentioned what they had heard, and I acknowledged that I had heard it also, but it wasn’t me. On the way to work after the breakfast, I turned on WTGA for the news, and Mickey Thrasher’s top story was the same thing.
While I don’t want to make light of such a serious situation, let me state, for the record, that while my name is Larry Stanford, I am not the Larry Stanford that Griffin police arrested Tuesday for the 1994 murder of his wife and another man. Same name, different person.
But if you ever want to find out just how many other people share your name, go on Google, type your name in, and hit the Enter button. A list of people with your name will show up, and you can find out what ‘you’ have done in other lives.
For example, Larry Stanford is also a psychopathic high-risk offender living in Edmonton, Ontario. Apparently, in 1972 (‘I’ was 15 at the time,) I hijacked an airplane with more than 50 people aboard. Later, I tried to kill my sister (‘I’ never had a sister) by bludgeoning her in the head with a hammer.
Larry Stanford also played in the New York Yankees’ farm system from 1989 to 1994. Apparently, I pitched for Florida International University and was drafted by the Yankees. I played three seasons, two in single-A, and one in double-A before retiring. (It is just as well I never made it to the big leagues, given that ‘I’ vehemently dislike the Yankees and have always said that ‘I’d’ rather not play baseball than play for the Yankees.)
Larry Stanford is also a Wisconsin Republican lawmaker who has been quoted as saying that ‘Women are paid less because money is more important for men.’ (‘I’ll’ admit ‘I’ve’ said some silly things in my life, but nothing that dumb.)
Mournfully, Larry Stanford was also a beloved father and grandfather who died on December 13, 2013 at the age of 91 in Midland, Michigan. (‘I’ am 57 and just hope I live long enough to see 91, but ‘I’ plan on dying in the South, preferably right here in Georgia.)
But ‘my’ favorite version of ‘me’ was the name of a starring role in a 1959 horror film called ‘The Manster.’ It is touted as being the first movie co-produced by American and Japanese film companies. The description of the movie ‘I’ found online states: ‘An American reporter in Japan, Larry Stanford, is sent to interview an eccentric Japanese scientist working on bizarre experiments in his mountain laboratory. When the doctor realizes that the hapless correspondent is the perfect subject for his next experiment, he drugs the unfortunate man and injects him with a serum that gradually transforms him into a hideous, two-headed monster.’
‘I’ lay no claim on being a semi-pro baseball player or Wisconsin politician, and ‘I’ certainly don’t claim to be a suspected murderer in Griffin, a plane hijacker in Canada, or dead. But ‘I’ am an American reporter (although the ‘hapless correspondent’ is a bit much) and the idea of being turned into a two-headed monster sounds pretty cool. You can just call me ‘Larry Stanford – the Manster.’
Larry Stanford may be reached at 706-647-5414 or on Twitter @LarryStanford7.